Inner Bitchins

Today I am speaking out about something that is often swept under the rug and it’s quite upsetting each time I think of it.

This world, and our fellow human inhabitants have a lot tolerance and acceptance for a lot of crap.

Sexual abuse… I understand that it is widespread and so many people go on to live their lives having dealt with it, it can be devastating in ways that some people who have never experienced it and don’t understand.  Also, each person’s story is different making it difficult to lump it all into a simple way to understand it as a specific issue.

When a child, or a teen doesn’t come forward with their problem being which they have been abused (depending on age, and other factors) it is sometimes because they don’t even understand what is happening to them or why.  Other times they understand exactly what is happening but are afraid to say anything – this could be because they are afraid they will be blamed, or that they will be told they are liars, or because they are afraid that something bad will happen to them or to someone they love just for simply have spoken out about it.

Very sad is that often the “victim” (I typically don’t use that word because I feel it sometimes creates even more of a set-back the healing process) is dealing with the act of the abuse in a healthy way but the main problem often becomes that their relationships change because of the people who either don’t want to accept that this could have possibly happened..

Parents and caregivers… please trust what your children are telling you. And try to set get through the denial and the feeling that it is somehow your fault.  It is the direct fault of the abuser.

Don’t let a person who has been abused suffer furthermore by neglecting them, their feelings or sweeping it under the rug.

And by all means trust each other and learn to trust yourselves.

Even the abuser is not always a *bad* person – they sometimes have been abused too… and need help.  Sure sometimes the abuser is simply a horrible person… but it’s never a black or white situation.

We all need to help each other – don’t spread any further hurt.

People live through years of self-hate and feeling damaged simply because they feel that people see them as an insecure victim – the people who they know and love… the people that they should be able to trust.

While, I am not a professional, I know this issue… and if you want to talk about it please feel free to contact me.  I cannot promise I will fix you all up!  But I promise to listen and to help you find the resources you need. So, if this speaks to you, whether you are a small child or a grown adult contact me via my blog.  comments are moderated so they are not public. I will reach back out to you. You can also message me on Facebook or Twitter. Just look for my name: Phyllis Ida Concordia